💔 It’s Over—Now What? How to End a Marriage Without Losing Yourself

You didn’t plan for this. No one does. Yet here you are, standing at the crossroads of what was and what comes next.

The end of a marriage can feel like a storm—painful, disorienting, and sometimes full of guilt or anger. But it can also be a turning point—a chance to rebuild your life with strength, clarity, and dignity.

If your marriage is ending, this isn’t the end of you. This guide will help you understand what to expect legally and emotionally, how to protect yourself and your family, and how to move forward with peace of mind.

---

Step 1: Acknowledge What’s Ending — and What Isn’t

Divorce doesn’t erase the love that once existed. It’s okay to grieve what you thought would last forever. But it’s also okay to let go of what’s no longer healthy for you—or for your children.

Starting from a place of respect, even if the relationship has changed, helps everyone involved—especially if you’re co-parenting. Fighting to “win” the divorce often ends up costing far more—emotionally and financially—than working together for a fair resolution.

Most divorces don’t go to trial. Only a small percentage ever appear before a judge. The rest are settled through negotiation or mediation—where you still have control over the outcome.

You don’t have to fight to move forward. Sometimes, you simply have to choose peace.

Step 2: Define What You Want for Your Next Chapter

When emotions run high, decisions can become reactive. Take a moment to breathe and write down what truly matters to you.

• What do I want my life to look like after this divorce?
• What is best for my children emotionally and practically?
• What assets or property are most important to protect?
• What am I willing to compromise on to reach peace faster?

The Marital Home

If children are involved, courts often favor the parent with primary physical custody remaining in the marital home to minimize disruption. This is called exclusive possession—one spouse remains while the other moves out.

Before making that decision, consider finances carefully. Can you afford to maintain the home? Would moving create a fresh start or new stress? These are personal choices, but they carry long-term consequences.

Pets, Assets, and Debts

Pets are family—but legally, they’re often considered property. If you can agree on a plan for them outside of court, do it.

You’ll also need a clear list of marital assets (things you acquired during the marriage) and debts (mortgages, loans, credit cards, etc.). Gather bank statements, car titles, and financial records early. The more organized you are, the smoother your path forward.

Step 3: Choose Peace Over Battle

A contested divorce—where every issue is fought in court—can take more than a year to resolve. An uncontested divorce—where both parties agree—can often be finalized in as little as 4–5 months.

Choosing collaboration or mediation doesn’t mean giving in; it means protecting your time, your energy, and your children. The court system is there if you need it, but your power lies in communication and preparation.

When you negotiate with clarity and compassion, you control the outcome—not the courtroom.

Step 4: Focus on the Kids, Not the Conflict

Children don’t just watch a divorce happen—they live it. Even if you and your spouse are no longer partners, you’ll always be co-parents.

Courts base custody decisions on the child’s best interests, not parental blame. Factors often include:

• Each parent’s ability to provide stability
• Emotional and physical health of both parents
• The child’s relationship with each parent
• School, home, and community continuity

Whenever possible, keep your child’s life consistent. Their world is already shifting—let your love be the constant.

Step 5: Protect Yourself Emotionally and Financially

Emotionally:

• Allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay to feel everything.
• Surround yourself with support—friends, family, therapy, or faith.
• Avoid making major decisions from a place of anger or fear.

Financially:

• Make a post-divorce budget.
• Track your income, expenses, and shared accounts.
• Keep records of payments, transfers, and communications.
• Don’t drain savings or max out credit cards in frustration—it only makes rebuilding harder.

Step 6: Get the Right Legal Guidance

Even when you and your spouse agree on most things, divorce law is complex. A lawyer can help you:

• Protect your financial and parental rights
• Prepare and file accurate paperwork
• Understand your options for negotiation or mediation
• Avoid costly legal missteps

Having an experienced advocate means you can focus on healing instead of paperwork.

Step 7: Reclaim Your Future

Divorce may close a chapter—but it also clears space for something new. You’re allowed to imagine a life where you feel safe, respected, and at peace.

This process can be hard, but it doesn’t have to define you. It can refine you.

The end of your marriage isn’t the end of your story—it’s the start of your comeback.
Take your time. Protect your peace. And remember: you are not broken; you are becoming.

---

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does a divorce take?

An uncontested divorce may take as little as four to five months, while contested divorces can take a year or more, depending on complexity and court schedules.

Do I need a lawyer to get divorced?

While it’s legally possible to represent yourself, having an attorney helps protect your rights, ensures accurate filings, and can save time and stress in the long run.

What if we can’t agree on custody or property?

If you and your spouse can’t reach agreement, a judge will make decisions based on your state’s laws—especially focusing on the child’s best interests and fair distribution of property.

What’s the first step to starting a divorce?

Gather your financial documents, consider your housing and custody goals, and schedule a consultation with a family law attorney to understand your options before filing.

---

Final Thoughts

Your marriage may be ending, but your life isn’t. This can be the moment you reclaim your voice, your peace, and your future. With clarity and the right guidance, you can navigate this transition with confidence and grace.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your situation, please consult a qualified attorney.

---

Ready to Take the Next Step?

You don’t have to face this alone. The Skeen Firm is here to help you move forward with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Schedule your confidential consultation today and start building the next chapter of your life.

📅 Schedule a Consultation

or call (724) 250-8841

New Tool: Estimate Your Washington County Divorce Filing Fees Instantly

Understanding divorce costs shouldn’t be complicated. That’s why The Skeen Firm Flat Fee Family Law Program created a new Washington County Divorce Filing Fee Calculator, a free online tool that helps you estimate your filing costs using the official county fee schedule.

Plan Ahead with Confidence

Divorce in Pennsylvania often starts with uncertainty, especially when it comes to costs. Filing fees vary by county and by the number of counts included, such as alimony, custody, or equitable distribution. Our calculator uses the official Washington County Prothonotary fee schedule to show your estimated total in seconds.

No need to sort through county PDFs or outdated online charts. You simply select how many counts apply to your case and whether custody is included, and the calculator instantly shows your estimated total filing fee.

Part of Our Flat-Fee Family Law Commitment

This new tool builds on our Flat Fee Family Law Program, which gives Pennsylvania families clear, predictable pricing for divorce and custody matters. We believe you deserve transparent legal costs from your attorney and from the court system.

With flat fees for legal services and upfront knowledge of filing costs, you can make confident financial decisions without surprises along the way.

Why This Matters for Washington County Residents

• Accurate data — based on the 2025 Washington County fee schedule.
• Quick results — calculate divorce filing costs in seconds.
• Local insight — tailored for residents filing in Washington County, PA.

Whether you’re filing for divorce on your own or working with our team, this calculator helps you prepare for the process and understand what to expect.

More County Guides Coming Soon

This new Washington County tool is just the beginning. The Skeen Firm is developing a full library of local divorce and family law guides for Pennsylvania counties including Beaver, Butler, and Allegheny — along with a comprehensive West Virginia Divorce and Family Law Guide coming soon.

Each guide will feature county-specific filing information, cost breakdowns, and process overviews to help families and small business owners navigate divorce efficiently and confidently.

Get Started Today

Try the new calculator today and see how easy it is to understand your filing costs before you start your case.

Use the Washington County Divorce Fee Calculator

Or learn more about how we simplify family law with flat fee representation for clients throughout Pennsylvania and West Virginia.

*Disclaimer: The advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship.

No Fear of the Clock: Flat Fee Family Law in Pennsylvania

For many families across Pennsylvania, legal representation can feel like a race against the clock. Every minute with your lawyer can mean another bill. This pressure often makes clients hesitate to reach out, even when communication is crucial.

At The Skeen Firm, we believe you shouldn’t have to choose between getting answers and staying within your budget. That’s why our flat-fee family law services are designed to remove the stress of hourly billing and build stronger attorney-client communication.

Why Hourly Billing Creates Barriers

In traditional hourly models, every email or phone call adds to your balance. That makes clients cautious, sometimes even silent, at the exact moment they need legal guidance most—during custody disputes, divorce filings, or support negotiations.

How Flat Fees Change Everything

With flat fees, you’ll know your total legal cost upfront. The result?

• More openness: You can talk freely without worrying about time.
• Faster advice: You get answers before issues escalate.
• Better focus: You and your attorney can concentrate on outcomes, not billing clocks.
• Collaborative strategy: You and your lawyer work as a team—not as a meter running.

Why This Matters in Pennsylvania

Family law in PA often varies by county—what works in Washington County might differ in Allegheny or Beaver. Having an attorney who communicates consistently can make all the difference. Our flat-fee model gives clients confidence to ask questions and stay involved from start to finish.

At The Skeen Firm, we want you to feel heard, informed, and supported—without worrying about every six-minute billing increment.

📅 Book Your Discovery Call

*Disclaimer: The advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship. 

Undertanding Child Custody in Pennsylvania

Child custody is a legal determination that assigns custodial rights for a child. In Pennsylvania, custody includes both legal custody—the authority to make significant decisions about the child’s welfare (like education, medical care, and religion)—and physical custody—where and with whom the child lives.

Types of Custody in Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania law provides several custody types to best suit the child’s needs and family circumstances:

Custody Type	What It Means
Shared Physical Custody	Both parents share substantial time living with the child.
Primary Physical Custody	One parent has the majority of physical care; the other has visitation or partial parenting time.
Sole Physical Custody	One parent has exclusive physical care; the other parent may have negligible or no custody time.
Partial Physical Custody	One parent has limited physical time with the child.
Supervised Physical Custody	Visits occur only under the supervision of a third party or agency.
Shared Legal Custody	Both parents share decision-making responsibility over major aspects of the child’s life.
Sole Legal Custody	One parent alone makes major decisions affecting the child.

How Courts Decide Custody in Pennsylvania

Courts base custody decisions on the best interest of the child. Some of the factors considered include:

• The child’s relationships with each parent
• Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s physical, emotional, educational, and medical needs
• Any history of abuse or domestic violence
• The child’s preference (depending on age and maturity)
• Which parent is more likely to encourage a positive relationship with the other parent

Custody orders are binding. Failing to follow them can result in contempt of court—leading to fines, probation, or even jail.

Why Custody Matters

Custody arrangements directly affect:

• Where the child lives and how often they see each parent
• Who makes key decisions about schooling, healthcare, and religion
• How responsibilities are shared in day-to-day parenting

Summary

In Pennsylvania, child custody covers both physical custody (where the child lives) and legal custody (who makes important decisions). Courts determine custody by focusing on the child’s best interests. Because custody orders are legally enforceable, parents should understand their rights and obligations to avoid serious legal consequences.

Need help with a Pennsylvania custody matter? The Skeen Firm is here to guide you. Contact us today for a consultation.

*Disclaimer: the advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship. 

How Much Does a Divorce Cost in Pennsylvania and West Virginia?

If you're considering a divorce in Pennsylvania or West Virginia, one of your biggest concerns is probably cost. The financial side of ending a marriage can feel overwhelming—especially when you're trying to plan for legal fees, filing costs, and life after divorce.

At The Skeen Firm, we specialize in flat fee family law services because we believe your legal costs should be clear from the beginning. But if you're exploring your options, here's what you should know about the average cost of a divorce in PA and WV—and how to budget for the process.

Average Cost of a Divorce in Pennsylvania

In Pennsylvania, divorce costs vary widely depending on whether your divorce is contested (disagreements over custody, assets, or support) or uncontested (both parties agree on the terms).

• Hourly Rate: $250–$400 per hour

• Retainer Fee: $3,000–$7,500 upfront

• Total Cost (Contested Divorce): $10,000–$20,000+

• Total Cost (Uncontested Divorce): $1,500–$5,000

Keep in mind that contested divorces involving complex assets, custody battles, or alimony disputes will significantly drive up the cost.

Average Cost of a Divorce in West Virginia

West Virginia tends to have slightly lower average fees compared to Pennsylvania, but legal costs still add up quickly:

• Hourly Rate: $200–$350 per hour

• Retainer Fee: $2,000–$5,000

• Total Cost (Contested Divorce): $7,000–$15,000+

• Total Cost (Uncontested Divorce): $1,000–$3,500

Filing fees in WV are typically around $135–$200 depending on the county, and additional costs may apply for parenting classes or mediation.

What Factors Affect Divorce Lawyer Costs?

Several variables influence how much you’ll pay in legal fees:

• Whether your divorce is contested or uncontested

• If children and custody are involved

• The complexity of your marital property

• The attorney’s experience and location

• Court appearances and duration of the case

How Flat Fee Divorce Can Save You Thousands

Unlike traditional firms that bill hourly, The Skeen Firm offers flat fee divorce services in Pennsylvania and West Virginia. That means you pay one predictable rate, no matter how many phone calls, emails, or court filings are required.

Benefits of Flat Fee Divorce:

• No surprise bills

• Budget certainty from the start

• Focused strategy without billing pressure

• More value for your money

We offer transparent pricing for:

• Uncontested divorces

• Child custody agreements

• Support modifications

• Property division

Considering Divorce? Let’s Talk.

Don’t get stuck worrying about hourly rates. Book a free consultation with The Skeen Firm today and learn how our flat fee family law services can help you move forward—without breaking the bank.

*Disclaimer: The advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship.

Treat Your Divorce Like a Business Transaction: Why Emotion Has No Place at the Negotiating Table in Pennsylvania

Divorce is one of the most emotionally charged events a person can experience. Anger, betrayal, grief, guilt — the emotional landscape is complex and can easily overwhelm good judgment. Yet when it comes to protecting your future, your assets, and your family’s well-being, emotion is your worst enemy.

In Pennsylvania, where equitable distribution, custody laws, and support obligations are governed by clear statutes and court precedent, viewing your divorce as a business transaction — and treating it with the same rational, strategic mindset — is often the smartest approach.

The Legal Framework: Pennsylvania’s Equitable Distribution

First, it’s important to understand that Pennsylvania is an “equitable distribution” state. Under 23 Pa.C.S. § 3502, marital property is divided “equitably,” which does not necessarily mean equally. Instead, the court weighs 11 factors to decide what is fair. These include the length of the marriage, each spouse’s contribution to the marriage (including homemaking), each spouse’s economic circumstances, and any prior marriages.

The Pennsylvania Superior Court has emphasized that equitable does not mean equal, but what is fair under the circumstances. If you let resentment or revenge drive your demands, you may waste time and money fighting over assets that the court will ultimately divide according to statutory guidelines anyway.

When you approach property division like a business negotiation — identifying your priorities, your must-haves, and what you can compromise on — you position yourself to protect your financial future rather than spending thousands in legal fees fighting over, say, a dining room set.

Spousal Support and Alimony: It’s About Numbers, Not Payback

Pennsylvania recognizes spousal support, alimony pendente lite (APL), and post-divorce alimony. While spousal support and APL are calculated using a statutory formula, post-divorce alimony is a secondary remedy requiring the court to analyze a separate set of factors, including the relative earnings, earning capacities, and standard of living established during the marriage.

Courts rarely punish a spouse for moral wrongdoing; Pennsylvania is a “no-fault” divorce state under 23 Pa.C.S. § 3301(c), so your spouse’s betrayal, however painful, usually does not entitle you to a larger share of support. 

In a 2023 case, the Pennsylvania Superior Court refused to consider a spouse’s alleged infidelity when considering an alimony claim because the statutory factors did not support an award of alimony. 

Treat alimony negotiations like a business deal: gather documentation of income, expenses, and earning capacity. Hiring an expert may be necessary in order to get a clear, realistic value for earning capacity or even the marital portion of an asset’s value.  Financial experts can also help finalize your post-divorce budgetary needs.

Emotion only clouds your judgment and can cause you to either accept too little out of guilt or demand too much out of anger — both of which can backfire. 

Child Custody: Best Interests of the Child, Not Your Ego

Custody battles are often the most emotionally charged aspect of divorce. But here again, Pennsylvania law is clear: custody decisions are governed by the “best interests of the child” standard under 23 Pa.C.S. § 5328(a), which lists 16 factors.

Courts want to maintain stability for children and foster meaningful relationships with both parents. Using custody as a weapon — refusing reasonable schedules or badmouthing the other parent — often backfires. Judges know when one parent is more focused on punishing the other than protecting the child’s best interests.

If you approach custody discussions like a cooperative business negotiation, you’re more likely to craft a workable parenting plan that a judge will approve and that actually fits your family’s unique needs.

The Financial Cost of Emotional Decision-Making

Dragging emotion into divorce negotiations can be incredibly expensive. While Pennsylvania courts may award counsel fees under 23 Pa.C.S. § 3702, especially if one spouse acts in bad faith or unnecessarily prolongs litigation, counsel fees awards are more an exception than the rule and each party is generally responsible for his/her own attorney’s fees.

Even if fees aren’t shifted to you directly, the longer you fight over petty grievances, the more you’ll pay your attorney to send letters, file motions, and sit in court hearings.

Think of it this way: every dollar you spend on a lawyer arguing over who keeps the wedding china is a dollar you could put into your retirement account or your child’s college fund.

Practical Tips for Keeping Emotion Out of It

1. Get Professional Support: Work with a therapist to process anger, grief, or betrayal. Your lawyer is not your counselor.

2. Build a Financial Roadmap: Meet with a financial advisor to understand your current and post-divorce finances.

3. Focus on the Big Picture: Identify your non-negotiables and what you’re willing to trade. Don’t waste energy on the small stuff.

4. Communicate Strategically: Always communicate with your spouse in writing. Keep it factual and business-like.

5. Stay Off Social Media: Venting online feels good for a moment but can destroy your credibility in court.

6. Work with an Experienced Family Law Attorney: A seasoned Pennsylvania divorce attorney will help you stay focused on the law, not emotion.

Conclusion: Make Smart, Not Emotional, Decisions

Divorce may feel deeply personal — and it is. But Pennsylvania law does not reward emotional warfare. It rewards reasoned, documented, fair negotiations that comply with the statutes and serve the best interests of everyone involved.

So take a deep breath. Get the right professionals in your corner. And treat your divorce for what it really is: a complex, high-stakes business transaction that deserves clear thinking, strategic planning, and as little emotion as possible at the negotiating table.

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not legal advice. For advice about your specific situation, consult a qualified Pennsylvania family law attorney.

What Does Supervised Visitation Mean?

Within child custody matters, sometimes a court will require visitation as a term of granting supervision to a parent or guardian. There are different types of visitation but one that is possible in Pennsylvania courts is supervised visitation.  

Supervised visitation is basically how it sounds; visitation that is supervised. Courts typically issue a custody order requiring supervised visitation in situations where the court feels the child may be endangered without the added supervision.

Though this is a fairly broad concept, courts typically lay out additional provisions to meet the supervised requirement.

Courts start by issuing a custody order in which a party may only be permitted to see the child or children under additional supervision. If this is the case, the court will state in its order grounds for meeting this requirement.

Supervised visitation may include a third party or other chaperone. The court may decide who this other person is and then require that person be present anytime the child is in the presence of that party.  Supervision may be line-of-sight and/or within hearing distance.

In other instances, both parties to the child custody agreement may unanimously decide on a person to be present during supervised visits.

In different situations and where the court sees fit, these supervised visitations may have to occur at a visitation center. A visitation center is where the party specified in the custody agreement goes to visit the child. This location then provides for a safe space for the party and the child to meet to ensure the child is completely safe.

The court wants children to have a relationship with their parents and makes every attempt to ensure this is done safely. Visitation requirements can provide for children and their parents to still have a relationship without putting the children in harm's way.

Sometimes a court may grant an order requiring supervised visitation on a temporary or interim basis.  Courts may amend the order to allow for unsupervised visitation if they feel it applies to the situation and the child will remain safe. Additionally, courts may amend orders to take away visitation or require any meetings take place at a visitation center if they feel the child would benefit from more protection.                            

What is “Child Custody?”

Child custody in the state of Pennsylvania determines who has actual custodianship over a specific child. The person (or persons) with legal custody over the child has the right to make decisions in the best interest of the child pertaining to health, education, and religious decisions.

The issue of child custody usually arises in cases of divorce in which both spouses have legal custody over the same child.

Child custody is an extremely broad term. Pennsylvania courts may grant seven categories of custody to either parent. These categories may limit the scope of custody a parent may be awarded.

These categories include:

1.)      Shared physical custody in which each parent is granted significant physical custody over the child;

2.)      Primary physical custody in which the court awards one parent physical custody over the child for the majority of the time while the other parent still has visitation rights;

3.)      Sole physical custody permits one parent to have the exclusive right to custody over the child;

4.)      Partial physical custody limits one of the parents to physical custody less than a substantial amount of the time;

5.)      Supervised physical custody grants custodial time to a parent but requires that a third party or agency be present for the visit;

6.)      Shared legal custody permits more than one person to have legal custody over the child and share in the decision-making responsibilities and duties to that child; or

7.)      Sole legal custody in which only one person has the legal and exclusive right to take care of that child.

Based on the situation between the two parents, whether it be biological parents, adoptive parents, or guardians of the child, the court will grant one of these forms of custody. Each situation is different, and the court awards custody based on what is in the best interest of the child, not the two parties involved.

Once the court awards custody to a specific party or parties, then that custody order must be followed. Failure to abide by the court's child custody order may lead to being held in contempt of court. If a party is found to be in contempt of court for violating a child custody order, they may face fines, imprisonment, probation, or other penalties.

The court takes child custody cases very seriously as children in these situations are typically too young to speak for themselves. Every situation is different and thus, the court weighs out all the applicable factors and applies them as they see fit. 

Benefiting Your Family - Flat Fee Family Law

By now, you know The Skeen Firm wants to handle your Family Law matter on our Flat Fee platform. We get it; no divorce is fun. Custody battles are tough. And equitable distribution is often a complex challenge. That is why we have a flat fee approach; predictability is our first method of promoting stability.

But from a traditional legal approach to running a firm with a family law practice, pricing through a flat fee makes no sense. Trust us, if we had a dollar for every time we’ve heard it won’t work, we would retire. But, to us, that is where the magic begins—a flat fee, regardless of the practice area, forces efficiency in how your lawyer works. The incentive is working efficiently to find a solution as quickly as possible, benefiting you, the client, the most. We consider that a win.

The quest for efficiency also forces us to implement and use systems and processes. While some will say that the law is no place to function like McDonald's, we say it exactly is. The law practice, just like operating a McDonald’s, is all about customer service. Most would agree McDonald’s isn’t gourmet, but they can’t deny that you can get the same meal in Washington, PA, as in Kalamazoo, MI. That is the definition of process and system-driven customer service. Why should the law be any different?

That is right, it shouldn’t. Customer service and experience are precisely why we focus on our processes and systems. Realizing that arriving at a solution in the most stress-free manner possible is the highest aspiration of our clients mandates a process and system-driven firm. Automating where we can—think of documents and other high-time-consuming or billable activities—allows us to focus more on client communication in a proactive way.

This communication forward approach starts at our discovery call, where we listen to your goals without offering any advice. From there, our intake process collects all the information needed to move your case forward as efficiently as possible. At your consultation, we can tell you more about what to expect and your fees and give you a strategy to achieve your goals. This is possible only if we get as much information as possible from the intake form. After we are engaged, you can expect regular updates on the progress made toward the strategy discussed in your consultation. What is the point of all of this? Alleviating as much stress as possible from a high-pressure, high-emotion environment. We built our system so we can work our system for you and let you live your life.

So while the flat fee is the headline maker, the system and process do the heavy lifting. With them, we can focus on resolving your case efficiently instead of traditional money makers for law firms, such as document drafting and reactive communications. Both only add stress to an already stressful situation. We are always here and ready to do what we do to help you in a system-driven, flat-fee, stress-reducing way.

*Disclaimer: the advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship.

Shared Custody and Cell Phones

In 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”  If he were to address the certainties of today’s world, then he would undoubtedly add technology to the list.  Technology is everywhere.  Cell phones, smart watches, GPS collars for our dogs, apps that allow you to remote start your vehicle from another state… the list goes on and on.

As technology is ever changing and advancing, so is the population who uses it.  In the 1990s, it was uncommon for a teenager to have a cell phone unless they were driving.  If a teen was lucky enough to have a phone, then it’s likely their usage of it was limited to a certain number of hours per billing period.  Fast forward a mere three decades, and you’ll rarely see a child without their own phone.

In a recent study from Stanford Medicine, a group of 250 children were followed for five years, during which most of them acquired cell phones.  About 25% of those children received phones by age 10.7, and 75% by age 12.6.  By the time the children reached 15 years of age, nearly all of them had cell phones.  The good news was that “technology ownership was not found to be linked in either positive or negative ways to children’s well-being.”[1]

Cell phones may be a point of contention between parents who share custody of their children.  Which parent is going to buy the phone?  Will the cost be split evenly?  Prorated on the same portion as custodial time?  Which parent is responsible for monitoring the child’s activity on the cell phone? 

Unfortunately, there are no clear cut, hardline answers to these questions.  It’s important to remember these three things: 1) your children having a cell phone may benefit you as much as it does them; 2) there is a wealth of information available on how to keep your children safe; and 3) keeping your children’s best interests as your main priority will be crucial as you navigate their use of this technology.

Mutually Beneficial:  If you have issues communicating with the other parent, then you may dread having to call their phone to speak to your child during their custody time.  However, if your child has their own phone, then you can call or text them directly.  For instance, if your child plays sports, they can keep you up-to-date if practice ends early or runs late.  Also, with location apps such as Life360 or Apple’s “Find My,” you can manage alerts for emergency situations, such as when the device has been involved in an accident.  Screen time and/or phone privileges can also be used as a consequence – either positive or negative.

Parental Controls:  Can cell phones be dangerous?  Absolutely!  That’s why it’s imperative that parents utilize the parental controls on the devices and consider installing apps to help monitor their children’s activity, especially on social media.

Children’s Best Interests: Obviously, it’s in your child’s best interest if you and their other parent can work together and be on the same page regarding electronic devices.  This may be easier said than done.  A child’s phone is often their key to their social life, so try to compromise when needed.  Striking the balance between keeping your children safe and teaching them to use their devices responsibly is key.

*Disclaimer: this article is for informational purposes only. It is not providing legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship.

[1] https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2022/11/children-mobile-phone-age.html#:~:text=About%2025%25%20of%20children%20received,phones%20by%20age%2015%20years.

Navigating Divorce in Washington County, Pennsylvania: Your Comprehensive Guide

Divorce is a life-altering event that can be emotionally and financially challenging.  If you find yourself going through a divorce in Washington County, PA (or anywhere, for that matter), then it is crucial for you to understand your rights and the legal process.  In this comprehensive guide, we will break down the key aspects of a divorce in Washington County, provide useful insights, and offer guidance to help you navigate this difficult time.

Understanding the Grounds for Divorce:  In Washington County, PA, there are both fault and no-fault grounds for divorce.  No-fault divorce is the most common.  An uncontested no-fault divorce may be granted after a ninety-day separation, but a contested no-fault divorce requires the spouses to live separately and apart for at least one year.  Fault grounds, such as adultery, abandonment, cruelty, or imprisonment, may lead to a faster divorce process.

The Residency Requirement:  To file for divorce in Washington County, PA, either spouse must have been a state resident for at least six months.  Establishing residency is essential to ensure the court’s jurisdiction over your case.

Property and Asset Division:  Washington County, PA, follows the equitable distribution approach to the division of property and assets acquired during the marriage.  Equitable doesn’t always mean equal; the court considers various factors, such as each spouse’s contributions, age, health, and economic circumstances when dividing marital property and assets.

Spousal Support and Alimony:  During the divorce process, the court may award spousal support or temporary alimony (known as alimony pendente lite) to the financially disadvantaged spouse.  The Court considers the length of the marriage, along with each spouse’s earning capacity and individual needs, along with other factors, when deciding an award of alimony.

Child Custody and Support:  Child custody and support matters are among the most significant concerns for divorcing parents.  Courts in Washington County, PA, prioritize the best interests of the child(ren) when determining custody arrangements.  Child support obligations are determined by a statutory formula, unless the facts warrant a deviation from the standard amount of support.

Legal Representation:  While it is possible to handle an uncontested divorce without an attorney, it is highly recommended to seek legal representation, especially if you have complex financial matters, child custody disputes, or disagreements with your spouse on critical issues.  An experienced divorce attorney can protect your rights and guide you through the process.

Alternative Dispute Resolution:  Couples who are divorcing in Washington County, PA, are encouraged to explore alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation or collaborative divorce.  These approaches provide a more amicable and cost-effective way to resolve differences, particularly regarding child custody and division of assets.

Divorces in Washington County, PA, involve various legal complexities, from grounds for divorce to property division and child custody matters.  By understanding the process and seeking legal guidance, you can protect your rights and ensure a smoother transition into the next chapter of your life.  Remember, every divorce is unique, so it’s essential to consult an experienced family law attorney who can provide personalized advice based on your specific circumstances.

Going through a separation and divorce can be very difficult, so having a knowledgeable legal team on your side can provide the support and guidance you need.  At The Skeen Firm, our experienced divorce attorneys want to help you navigate the complexities of divorce in Washington County, PA.  

 *Disclaimer: this article is for informational purposes only. It is not providing legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship.

So your marriage is coming to an end. Now what? Part II

You’ve gotten over the initial shock of realizing that your marriage is over.  Now what?  Well, now you have some tough decisions to make starting with what do you want out of the divorce.  Some preliminary matters to work though include who stays in the house, who gets physical custody of the children, who gets possession of the family pet, and how will the assets/debts be divided.

Residing in the marital home to the exclusion of your spouse is known as exclusive possession.  If there are children involved, the spouse having primary physical custody generally resides in the house to minimize the displacement of the children.

If the parties cannot agree on physical custody, the court will look at 16 factors to ultimately decide what is in the best interests of the children.  Most courts believe it’s important for children to spend equal time (or as close to equal time as possible) with each parent.  You’ll want to keep that in mind if you choose to move out and get a place of your own.  The farther you live from your spouse, the harder it is to make joint custody work and the harder it is on your children.

If you’re like me, your family pet is more than a pet, he’s a four-legged family member.  Unfortunately, the law doesn’t give him the same love you do.  Pets are considered marital property.  If the parties can’t agree, the court will decide who gets the pet in equitable distribution.

Generally, the party living in the marital home is responsible for the bills as well.  If you’re driving a vehicle, you’re most likely responsible for the costs associated with that vehicle.  Each party is generally responsible for bills in his/her own name, and history helps determine who is responsible for joint bills.  Any payments made during the separation or while the divorce is pending towards joint bills or for the benefit of joint assets may be offset during equitable distribution.

Your assignment: make a list of individual and marital assets and debts.  Gather copies of titles, account statements, appraisals, etc.  Each party will have to prepare an inventory of what property needs to be divided.

If you are trying to determine what to do next, give us a call at 724.550.6970.  We offer a free 30-minute consultation and would love to discuss how we may help you with your divorce.

*Disclaimer: this article is for informational purposes only. It is not providing legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship.

Naughty or Nice - Custody Edition

The holiday season is upon us, and we’re just as excited about Santa’s arrival as you are!  Did you know that Santa’s Naughty and Nice list isn’t only for children?  That’s right.  Santa’s also making a list of parents dealing with custody issues, and he’s checking it twice. 

Are you in the middle of a custody battle?  Is your name on the Naughty List or the Nice List?  Maybe you and your ex simply cannot see eye-to-eye, I mean, your ex is an ex for a reason, right?  Maybe your ex is constantly making mountains out of molehills.  Maybe your ex refuses to cooperate with even the slightest deviation from your custody order.  And maybe all of these things are making you react instead of respond.

Disagreements over custody matters can be stressful and can also lead parents to behave in a way they normally wouldn’t.  Don’t fall victim to the temptation to react!  Reacting can lead to impulsive decisions that are not in the best interest of your children.  Reacting can also land your name on the Naughty List.

You may find your name on the Naughty List if you’re discussing your custody battle with your children.  Children are not pawns in the chess game of custody you’re playing with your ex.  If you refrain from including your children in adult matters, you can be sure your children aren’t ending up in the middle of an unfair situation.

Rather than react, take a few moments (or twenty, as the case may be) and ask yourself what is in the best interest of your children.  If you make a decision from a space of clarity, you are responding.  Remind yourself that your children are not pawns in a game of chess and they should always inspire your decisions.  Taking yourself out of an emotional reaction is one way to find yourself on the Nice List.

Another way to be a winner on the Nice List: consider the perks of co-parenting.  Not the pretend “we co-parent” sentiment like “the check’s in the mail” – the actual “we’re going to show up for our children – together – as a united front.”  If your ex has remarried, don’t stonewall the new spouse.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, and there’s a reason for it.  What child doesn’t benefit from having an extra parental figure (or two) to love and support him?

We wish you the absolute best holiday season!  If, for some reason, you find yourself on the Naughty List or dealing with your ex who has laid claim to the #1 spot on the Naughty List, give us a call at 724-550-6970. 

Types of Custody in Pennsylvania

Odds are when you think of custody, you think of physical custody — the person with whom the child resides. Did you know there are two types of custody with seven variations? At the most basic level, a Court will decide what is in the child’s best interest. This will include whether one or both parents have physical custody -- that is the time each parent should spend with the child. The Court will also decide whether it’s better for one or both parents to have legal custody.

When two parents live together with their child, the parents share physical and legal custody. Once their relationship ends and one parent moves out, both parents exercising physical custody of the child becomes harder. Physical custody is the right to have your child with you, living in your home. Depending on the circumstances of the case, a court may award shared, primary, partial, sole or supervised physical custody.  

Shared physical custody means that each parent has custody of the child for longer than a visit. This is often a 50/50 split. Some examples of a 50/50 schedule include a 5-2-2-5, 4-3-3-4 or a 3-2-2-3 schedule. The patterns denote the number of days a child spends with one parent before going to see the other parent. A shared custody schedule prevents the child from spending too much time with one parent before seeing the other. This helps guarantee that the child will have continuing contact with both parents. Parties may choose to change to an every-other-week schedule with older children. But, a week-on, week-off schedule is not common with younger children.

In Pennsylvania, primary physical custody generally means that one parent has, at the very least, more overnights with the child than the other. It may also dictate the child’s address for school. Contrary to primary physical custody, a parent with partial physical custody spends a limited amount of time with the child. If your case includes factors like substance abuse, anger issues or general safety concerns, the Court may order supervised visitation. A supervisor may be a friend, family member, or a representative from an organization that facilitates supervised visitation. If an organization facilitates the supervised visitation, the parent awarded the supervised visitation will most likely be responsible for any fees. 

In some cases, the Court determines that it is in the child’s best interest for only one parent to have physical and legal custody. If so, they will award that parent sole custody. Courts rarely award sole physical custody to one parent though. 

Legal custody is the right to make decisions for the child. Think medical, religious and educational decisions. Parents may enjoy shared legal custody, or one parent may have sole legal custody of the child. Unless there is a court order or an agreement otherwise, both parents have shared legal custody of their child. Shared legal custody means that parents need to consult with and keep each other informed of decisions. In a perfect world, both parents will work together to make the best decision for their child.

Modification of existing custody orders may happen if doing so is in the child’s best interest. Although some states require a material change in circumstances, Pennsylvania does not. It is important to remember that what is in the child’s best interest is unlikely to have shifted unless there has been a change in circumstances.

Feel free to give us a call at 724-550-6970 should your custody issues cause confusion.

*Disclaimer: the advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship.

Custody Christmas Carol

Christmas is right around the corner! Yikes! Maybe you’re in the group of folks who have already finished your shopping and have a mound of beautifully wrapped presents under your tree or maybe you’re in the “I shop on Christmas Eve” club and aren’t sweating the details just yet. Regardless of where you fall, you’ve most likely made all of your holiday arrangements and are looking forward to spending some quality time with your family.  If you share custody of your children with your ex, maybe you’re counting down the hours or days until you see your children for Christmas.

If your ex decides to be a grinch and throw a wrench in your plans by either threatening to ignore the holiday custody schedule or, worse yet, actually refusing to let you see your children for Christmas, please remember a few things:

First and foremost, please remember that your children did not ask to be in this situation. They didn’t ask for their parents to live in separate households and they certainly didn’t ask to be shuffled to and fro on the holidays. This reminder isn’t meant as a guilt trip either. Don’t get so caught up in your anger that you forget what’s most important – your children’s feelings and happiness! 

Second, don’t threaten or try to involve the police.[1] Chances are, if you call the police in an attempt to have them enforce your custody order, they’re going to tell you it’s a civil matter and refer you to your attorney. Truly consider whether being right is more important than your children enjoying their Christmas. Is being right more important than your children’s happiness?  

If, by chance, an officer shows up and is willing to enforce the Order, what will involving the police actually accomplish?  Sure, you might enjoy some sense of satisfaction, but will it improve the quality of your children’s Christmas?  Instead of remembering that Santa brought their favorite gift, your children are more likely to remember the countless tears they shed because their parents were arguing and yelling. Involving the police will only escalate the situation and cause unnecessary strife for all involved. In the spirit of Christmas, be the bigger person. Let your ex go on about their business and call a lawyer to handle the matter in court – where it belongs.

Third, and most difficult, do not mention any of this to your children! Children deserve to be children and enjoy their youth. Don’t rob them of their innocence by putting them in the middle or by making them feel like they need to defend or protect either one of their parents. Even if you can’t remember loving your ex-spouse, remember that your children love both of their parents. 

Pennsylvania uses the “best interest of the child” standard when determining what type of custody and how custody should be shared between parents. If that standard is good enough for the Judge, it ought to be good enough for you, as your children’s parent. Before you make any rash decisions, stop and think “is this really in the best interest of my children?” If the answer is anything other than an unequivocal “YES!”, then you may want to change your course of action.

 The Skeen Firm wishes everyone a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year!  Should your holidays not go as planned, feel free to give us a call at 724-550-6970.

*Disclaimer: the advice provided is for informational purposes and is not intended as legal advice.  It should not be relied on, nor construed as creating an attorney-client relationship.

[1] This statement does not cover situations where you are considering calling the police because you fear for your child’s safety. It is solely addressing threatening to involve the police to enforce a custody order.