Naughty or Nice - Custody Edition

The holiday season is upon us, and we’re just as excited about Santa’s arrival as you are!  Did you know that Santa’s Naughty and Nice list isn’t only for children?  That’s right.  Santa’s also making a list of parents dealing with custody issues, and he’s checking it twice. 

Are you in the middle of a custody battle?  Is your name on the Naughty List or the Nice List?  Maybe you and your ex simply cannot see eye-to-eye, I mean, your ex is an ex for a reason, right?  Maybe your ex is constantly making mountains out of molehills.  Maybe your ex refuses to cooperate with even the slightest deviation from your custody order.  And maybe all of these things are making you react instead of respond.

Disagreements over custody matters can be stressful and can also lead parents to behave in a way they normally wouldn’t.  Don’t fall victim to the temptation to react!  Reacting can lead to impulsive decisions that are not in the best interest of your children.  Reacting can also land your name on the Naughty List.

You may find your name on the Naughty List if you’re discussing your custody battle with your children.  Children are not pawns in the chess game of custody you’re playing with your ex.  If you refrain from including your children in adult matters, you can be sure your children aren’t ending up in the middle of an unfair situation.

Rather than react, take a few moments (or twenty, as the case may be) and ask yourself what is in the best interest of your children.  If you make a decision from a space of clarity, you are responding.  Remind yourself that your children are not pawns in a game of chess and they should always inspire your decisions.  Taking yourself out of an emotional reaction is one way to find yourself on the Nice List.

Another way to be a winner on the Nice List: consider the perks of co-parenting.  Not the pretend “we co-parent” sentiment like “the check’s in the mail” – the actual “we’re going to show up for our children – together – as a united front.”  If your ex has remarried, don’t stonewall the new spouse.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, and there’s a reason for it.  What child doesn’t benefit from having an extra parental figure (or two) to love and support him?

We wish you the absolute best holiday season!  If, for some reason, you find yourself on the Naughty List or dealing with your ex who has laid claim to the #1 spot on the Naughty List, give us a call at 724-550-6970.